New Title: CHRONIC HOPE: God’s Redeeming Presence In the Midst of Pain
I have been working on another book.
This one is called Listening for Your God – Finding God in the Midst of Your Pain, and it is a compilation of bible quotes (mostly), quotes from famous people, song lyrics, stories, and some quotes from some not-so-famous people like me or like you. They are grouped in chapters topically around prayer, hope, suffering,
Introduction
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” C.S. Lewis
Dealing with pain in our lives and in the lives of those we love opens our hearts and our ears to the reality of God and the question of why He allows these interruptions to our comfortable lives. More than any other time, we become attentive to His message. A myriad of hospitalizations for myself and loved ones and the deaths of both of my parents over the course of two years has been the main impetus behind “Listening for Your God.”
Many might say “You don’t know how much pain I have endured in my life.” “Well, I think I might.” My injuries and illnesses started out relatively benign, mostly knees issues common for ski patrollers and runners. Just so you know that I might have some credibility in the pain arena, here’s my laundry list of injuries and illnesses:
1. Severe allergic reaction to surgical drape used during a C-section. causing an allergic reaction, resulting in extreme blisters and burns
2. Total Knee Replacement after multiple reconstructions and arthroscopes
3. Neck fusion from car wreck when our car was t-boned and totaled
4. Epiretinal membrane surgery, followed by expected cataract surgeries
5. Bilateral inguinal hernias repaired with mesh in the weak areas of my abdominal wall causing other internal entanglements
6. Surgical cyst removal in lower back
7. Corresponding MRIs revealed multiple cysts throughout my kidneys and liver, Autonomic Dominant Polycystic Kidney Disease
8. Small intestine bacterial overgrowth with pain that felt like an elephant was stomping on my belly at the same time as someone was stabbing me in the lower back resulting in two hospitalizations
9. Collapsed lung from cortisone injection in my neck gone bad
10. Hemo/pneumothorax from fractured ribs resulting in plates and pins
11. Pneumonia and severely infected kidney that almost killed me
12. Broken nose from trail running fall, resulting in deviated septum surgery
13. Double vision
14. Hiatal hernia and GERT
15. Multiple shoulder injuries
16. Toe fracture
17. Parkinson’s Disease, a neurodegenerative disease that pretty much affects every organ, tissue, and system of the body
You must be thinking, “Wow girl; you are a mess.” Definitely a pain in the you know what.
Little did I realize that an incident from nearly 50 years ago would so impact my life today. Back in 1973, I visited a friend with brain cancer in hospice; we’ll call him Mike. In my limited experience, I had never seen someone so close to death; and I expected that my job would be to cheer him up, to help him forget about his troubles.
Well, was I ever wrong! My friend’s one desire could be summed up in four simple words – Listening for His God. Staking his life on the reality of the one and only God of this universe, Mike’s single focus was to learn as much as possible as quickly as possible about His Creator. His shell of a body and this earthly existence no longer held any attraction or promise for the future. His eyes, heart, and mind held a true north orientation.
There was no small talk. He didn’t care about the weather unless it would delay his teleportation to heaven. His body, shriveled down to a mere 100 pounds, would be changed in the twinkling of an eye. He figured that when he received a new body, he’d probably trade his thin hospital gown in for the slick heavenly garments he’d wear to his first seating at the Lord’s table. My guess is that however he was clad, he’d look amazing, and no one would be able to wipe the grin off his face.
Mike’s motivation was pure and simple. An intense session of Listening for His God to tell him what came next. What a privilege to be a messenger of the magnificent Word of Life. I have often thought back to that day, hoping that he would return to us just long enough to tell us what it was like. My guess is that once he saw His Savior’s face, there’d be no turning back
These sacred moments in the hospital with Mike opened my eyes to a profound truth. With the veil between life and death both imminent and thin, the deep longing to communicate with God is pronounced, literally. In this moment and the ones outlined below, I wished I could have had a resource to turn to with messages from God that would speak to this desire. Such was the origin of “Listening for Your God.”
It’s one thing to attend to the needs of a friend; it’s quite another to care for a family member, especially a parent. A guide to “Listening for your God” would have been particularly powerful the last week of my Mom’s life as my family and I stood vigil. Her health had been slowly declining. However, the only doctor’s appointments she wanted were with the Chief Surgeon.
Despite Mom’s ailments, there was one area of her life that was never compromised. She loved her Savior and Redeemer and never missed an opportunity to let others know of His love for them. During her final week on earth, the nurses would often ask how she was feeling; and inevitably her response would be “Nothing to complain about. How ‘bout you Sweety?” That was my Mom, always caring more about others than her own aches and pains.
One of Mom’s most annoying dementia symptoms was perseverating – asking the same question time after time after time after time after time – you get it. One of the things they say about Alzheimer’s and dementia is that it tends to bring out a person’s inherent temperament. That was undoubtedly the case with Mom. She and Dad started each morning’s breakfast studying a favorite devotional that was marked by highlighters, post-its, bookmarks, cards, and written notes; they loved God’s Word. In Mom’s case, her perseveration was of memorized bible passages. Following were some of Dorothy H. Toth’s favorites:
· Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NASB)
· The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. (Isaiah 26:3 NASB)
· So we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6 NASB)
In fact, when I was looking through Mom and Dad’s scrapbooks and loose photos recently, I found a sheet protector with these very verses written in Mom’s beautiful penmanship.
One of the last days of her life, I was down in the hospital coffee shop buying a round of lattes for siblings. I heard over the PA “Code One Stat in ICU.” It was Mom. I prayed, running up to her room. I’d responded to many Code Ones’s in my ski patrol and search and rescue careers, but never for my own Mom. The medical crash team was able to resuscitate her, but she looked so exhausted. Her body had just about given 100%. We all wondered why the Lord was delaying her homecoming.
The next morning driving to the hospital, God orchestrated the sun’s approach preceded by an amazing beam that rose on the horizon like a spotlight. When its radiance hit the shelf of clouds, it painted a horizontal line illustrating an iridescent cross as from the Master Artist’s own hand. Yet, my mom, so humble, so self- deprecating, would never have asked for such a grand, red-carpet entrance into heaven. What a beautiful message to my family from the heart of God! He spoke “I’m still in control. I’ve got this – she’s mine!”
Mom’s support group was six children and their six spouses, 20 grandchildren, 36 great grandchildren and counting. That evening most of us gathered at the hospital. The lead nurse moved Mom to a larger room to handle our standing room only crowd. My family loves music and we broke into some acapella, impromptu singing and I guess it must have sounded okay as I watched the smiles and tears in the eyes of the hospital staff and patients.
The next day Dan and I took Dad into downtown Rochester to have the battery in his pacemaker replaced. Dad was under too much stress to put this off any longer. During Dad’s appointment, we received a call that Mom had gone home to heaven.
Driving back to Canandaigua, we told Dad about Mom’s homecoming. Amazingly enough, neither one of us cried. My brother, Chip, likes to think of loved ones’ deaths and departures as just a temporary separation, “Almost like they are leaving for New Jersey and we’ll be following closely behind and will meet them there.” Personally, I have a hard time likening heaven to New Jersey. Hawaii or Switzerland maybe. But New Jersey?
All three of us traveling in that car knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mom was truly home. I imagined Mom’s jubilation to hear the words “Well done, good and faithful servant. . . Come and share your Master’s joy!”
About a year after my mom’s death, we received a call that my husband’s mother, Lois, was in intensive care. She had fallen and broken a hip and hand; and mom never woke up from surgery. She had probably suffered numerous strokes; and despite her lack of cognitive engagement, I had good opportunities to read to Mom B. the last week of her life.
It is well documented that when people are unconscious or in comas, they are sometimes able to hear voices. There have been numerous studies conducted using electroencephalograms that detect activity in the brain. Some of the studies analyzed differences in the brain’s response to tone and pattern changes for healthy patients, conscious hospice patients, and hospice patients who were actively dying and unresponsive. The unresponsive patients all showed neural auditory perception and attention to tone changes, and some even displayed attention to pattern changes. Researchers concluded that, for at least some unresponsive hospice patients, their brains continue to process auditory information even when they do not respond in a notable way.
It’s my prayer that Mom B. was soothed by the comforting Word of God. Who better to minister to her during this time of uncertainly than her Creator and the Lover of her soul as she Listened for Her God!
A year later, as I was working on this book, we received a call that my dad was not doing well; he wouldn’t eat or drink and was just holding on by a thread. Dad was just weeks away from turning 95. Since my mom’s passing, dad had changed, sometimes to the point of appearing catatonic. He rarely responded when spoken to; but I think his mind and heart were in a different time and place. A few years back he had mentioned that he hoped God would keep him alive long enough to care for mom in her last days.
My sister, Nancy, spent Dad’s last day and evening reading to him from the psalms and playing and singing worship songs. All the while Dad was Listening for His God to call him home. My brother, Steve, sent a text to my siblings and me early that Sunday morning. It read “Dad’s home.”
The final reason for this book is that I need to also . . . I need to Listen for My God. God has been good to me and if “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” I must be pretty strong. As was mentioned earlier in this introduction, I have helped to pay many hospitals’ mortgages and I have probably overstayed my visit numerous times.
Through it all, there has been one clear message indelibly engraved on my heart and in my head; I have learned that medical facilities are one of the best places to Listen for Your God. However, some may ask, “where do you start reading?” Genesis 1:1 that describes creation? I know you would rather not read about bulls being slaughtered and having their blood splashed on the temple altar. That is a little too close to home when you are hospital bound. And who wants to read about how Satan infected Job from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head; and then Job took a piece of broken pottery to scrape himself as he sat among the ashes?
However, there are many, many Bible verses that can be a source of great comfort to the wounded and healing. My dream is that you will be able to select chapters from this book that most appropriately address your unique needs, or those of your loved one. Obviously, this is not a comprehensive list, and I am not trying to rewrite the Bible; I would never do that. But perhaps, as the occasion presents itself, you will be able to read chapters from “Listening for Your God” either to yourself or one of your loved ones. I pray that you will be comforted.
I have tried to categorize and separate bible verses topically. I have also included song lyrics, excerpts from other books, poems, quotes from famous people and some not so famous people, myself included. The majority are bible verses since we’re talking about “Listening for Your God.
Enjoy and be blessed!
Patti
Patti Burnett 